Self-criticism
It's often easy to be self-critical, particularly if your interests are creative. There's no way to definitively measure success when it comes to the arts, which means writers, artists and musicians tend to spend a lot of their time convincing themselves that they'll never make it. I consider myself very lucky in that I have both academic skill and creative skill, but it is far easier to know how well you're doing at say, physics or maths, simply because you are either right or wrong. Meanwhile, though I can measure how many songs I've played or how many poems I've written, I still have no real grasp of where I stand in the grand scheme of things.I have found myself on many a night staring at my as yet unpublished poem of the day thinking: "Well this is terrible." But by that time it's too late to start again, so I click 'publish' anyway and punish myself internally for inflicting such words on the public. Of course, I am always assured that said poem is better than I think, but the more I read it the more I see problems with it.
It's the same with drawing, I've finished sketches fairly happy with the result, but the more I look, the worse it gets. In the end I try and fix the mistakes and more often than not find myself longing for a real life undo button. And of course, no composition is ever perfect, it never quite sounds how it does in my head.
Now, obviously it is important as any form of artist to know when something is too far gone to be worth pursuing, but we all, collectively, find it very difficult to believe that our work is worth it. The sad thing is, ideas that could become masterpieces can be thrown away in a moment of self-doubt.
Selective hearing
The easiest way to find out if what you're doing is any good is to ask someone. Getting a new perspective is always useful, whether they like what you're doing or not. Now, the problem (certainly for me at least) is that we're naturally very good at hearing criticism and a little deaf in the praise department.
A hundred positive comments don't have nearly the same impact as one or two negative comments. Thankfully, most of the time, the comments I get are either positive or constructive rather than "this video make me sick" or "wow this poem sux" etc. But when someone tells you that your work needs improving, it can stick in your mind for a lot longer than someone saying it’s great. Perhaps it is modesty, or a fear of seeming too full of yourself, but receiving feedback always seems to turn into another chance to beat yourself up.
Of course, we should listen to feedback, but we shouldn’t let it take over what we’ve done – and sometimes, we need the confidence to say that actually it’s better like this. You are the one in control.
When I came to choose my A-levels I had a lot of pressure from all sides to take a lot of subjects. I’m not saying this to boast, basically I have the ‘right’ kind of mind for school. I knew I was going to take Physics and Maths already – I had very little choice and no real objections to that – but my other two subjects came down to my decision. Now, anyone who knows me will know I am absolutely shocking at making decisions. I’m the kind of person who can spend a good twenty minutes deciding which sandwich to get for lunch (egg & cress has its merits, but is it really as filling as chicken? I don’t know! Maybe I should just get both – but then that’s too much! What do I do?!). So choosing between all my options was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. The day before I made my decision I was convinced I was going to do French and Chemistry as my other two subjects – after all, two sciences, a language and maths would look great on a university application – but on the last day, I happened to notice the Creative Writing course. I looked into it and I was sold – this was perfect for me! Then I spoke to my music teachers and I realised that I couldn’t bear to leave it behind. So I surprised everyone by being one of the only straight A* students to choose two art subjects. Best decision of my life.
For the sake of my sanity, my workload and my development into “maturity” (I use the term loosely) I could not have chosen better. I have come on tremendously as a writer and music has been a sanctuary that I could not have managed without. What I'm trying to say in a kind of weird and tangent-filled way is this:
The art subjects may not look as good on a UCAS form, but they are incredibly valuable and we cannot allow creativity to die. Most importantly, taking an art subject doesn’t make you lazy or stupid – it makes you different in a way that really should be celebrated.
Of course, we should listen to feedback, but we shouldn’t let it take over what we’ve done – and sometimes, we need the confidence to say that actually it’s better like this. You are the one in control.
Education
Over the past years, particularly in the UK where I live, there has been a certain reluctance to acknowledge the arts as ‘real subjects’. Students are often encouraged to take sciences or maths (and yes, maths has an ‘s’ at the end) simply because they are the ‘core’ of learning. I’ll try not to get too side-tracked with a rant about education (I’m sure it will be covered in many, many future blogs) but the fact is, the system in this country works perfectly for people with a certain kind of mind, but horribly for people with a different kind. What I mean by that is, if you can memorise facts, use maths with ease and visualise scientific concepts, you will breeze through school with flying colours. If you can’t, you’re pretty much screwed. It’s not fair, because there are whole generations of people who have amazing talents who believe they are failures.When I came to choose my A-levels I had a lot of pressure from all sides to take a lot of subjects. I’m not saying this to boast, basically I have the ‘right’ kind of mind for school. I knew I was going to take Physics and Maths already – I had very little choice and no real objections to that – but my other two subjects came down to my decision. Now, anyone who knows me will know I am absolutely shocking at making decisions. I’m the kind of person who can spend a good twenty minutes deciding which sandwich to get for lunch (egg & cress has its merits, but is it really as filling as chicken? I don’t know! Maybe I should just get both – but then that’s too much! What do I do?!). So choosing between all my options was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. The day before I made my decision I was convinced I was going to do French and Chemistry as my other two subjects – after all, two sciences, a language and maths would look great on a university application – but on the last day, I happened to notice the Creative Writing course. I looked into it and I was sold – this was perfect for me! Then I spoke to my music teachers and I realised that I couldn’t bear to leave it behind. So I surprised everyone by being one of the only straight A* students to choose two art subjects. Best decision of my life.
For the sake of my sanity, my workload and my development into “maturity” (I use the term loosely) I could not have chosen better. I have come on tremendously as a writer and music has been a sanctuary that I could not have managed without. What I'm trying to say in a kind of weird and tangent-filled way is this:
The art subjects may not look as good on a UCAS form, but they are incredibly valuable and we cannot allow creativity to die. Most importantly, taking an art subject doesn’t make you lazy or stupid – it makes you different in a way that really should be celebrated.
So what's my point?
Whatever it is you're pursuing, creative or not, it has to start with the confidence in yourself to be able to make it. I’m not saying just write a novel without changing a word, but sometimes we need to take a step back from all the negativity and just look at what we’ve made. Allow ourselves that moment to appreciate what we’ve managed to do, without worrying about that word which doesn’t quite flow in chapter 6 or that line that’s a little wonky next to that tree. Creating art is not about perfection, if it was artists would have been replaced with photographers long ago, it’s about doing something no one’s ever done before.And that is something to be proud of.
