What now? - Responding to a Trump victory (as positively as I can)

Dear America,

Before I get into this, I have to tell you two things:

1) I am not American

2) I didn't support either candidate, but considered Trump the worse option from a global perspective

This morning, Donald J. Trump was the surprise victor of the Presedential Election. In the end, whoever won would be in charge of a divided nation. After the election results came through this morning, I saw a lot of despairing, a lot of fear and a lot of anger at the outcome. Whether or not you support Trump, there is clearly a very negative atmosphere in America after the election. Either way, there was going to be animosity and a greater divide than after almost any election before it. But the nature of the candidate who won has shocked the polls, the world, the left-wing, right-wing and centre-ground equally. And that's because this election was fought so differently to any other, it was personal, it was about establishment versus anti-establishment not liberal versus conservative. Whoever you voted for had a dodgy past, whoever you voted for wasn't perfect and whoever you voted for was something new. Trump's route to presidency was paved with outrage, scandal and appalling treatment of women and minorities. Yet somehow, he won. So how should a reasonable, decent person react to that?

Well, I saw a tweet not long after the result was announced that read "Trump didn't win. Racism won. Sexism won. Hate won. Lack of education won." Now...while I understand the point they're making, I think we need to rationalise a little here. Voting Trump as president does not mean everyone has to follow his opinions. Trump may be racist, he may be sexist, he may be hateful and he may be ignorant. However, 52% (roughly) of voters did not vote for him. And of the 48% who did, a significant portion disagreed with most of the outrageous things he said - Trump was the protest vote. We saw it in the UK with Brexit, people are sick of things as they are so they vote for whoever says they're against the system. It doesn't make every Brexiteer (I hate that word by the way) a racist, nor does it make every Trump supporter a bigot.

Sadly, it is likely that hate of all kinds will increase in the coming months. Trump serves as something of a justification to hold views that most decent people find outdated and unacceptable. And sadly, it is likely that minorities such as the LGBT+ community and Hispanics will face legal challenges that many thought were left in the past and may have reason to be fearful for both their future and their safety. However, this is not the time to give up on America and call it a lost cause. This is not the time to give up on equality because too many people don't believe in it. This is not the time to give up on women's rights because Trump has no self-control. This is the time when standing firm is more crucial than ever.

Remember what the Democrats have been saying all this campaign? "When they go low, we go high."

When hatred grows, it is never defeated by hate. Strengthening the divide between citizens is not the answer - labeling those who hate as 'the other ones' is not going to stop them from hating. When hatred grows, we need love. We need compassion. We need solidarity. We need to work together. You cannot change the result of the election now, but you can change your country. America is a country that proclaims itself 'Land of the Free'. If you can't be proud of the country you are now, be proud of the country you could be. You can Make America Great Again, but not by building walls. By building bridges.

When you see hate, stand with the hated. Speak up for the rights of your fellow citizens, even if those rights don't affect you personally. Value the friendship, company, love and custom of every human being the same as any other. Engage with those who disagree with you and work towards a common goal. Let the success of the next four years be the story of a divided nation working together towards understanding against a tide of ignorance. Laws are important, yes. Who makes the laws is important, yes. But laws do not stop decent people being decent.

In short, fight fire with water. In the face of a turbulent time, weather the storm together, not judging, not hating, not blaming one another. Don't focus on vengeance or bitterness, by all means get angry but use that anger to drive positive change.

Please, People of America, do this right.



Sincerely,

A citizen of a country that did it wrong.

Other lives

People watching

One of the things that has always intrigued me is how my life is so important to me, but to anyone else is almost meaningless. Aside from a fairly limited group of friends, the vast majority of people I see every day wouldn't even class as acquaintances. To those people, rushing past in the busy city centre, I am nothing. And to me, that random couple across the street are just scenery.

When I think about the number of people who have glanced at me without caring, or pushed past me, or stepped to one side to let me past, I realise how unthinkably large the number of people I've been in contact with is. So I decided to start taking note.

Instead of ignoring the people I don't know, I watch for a little bit (not in a creepy way) and try to work out what's going on in their lives. For example, that man holding two cups of coffee, who's the other one for? A friend? A partner? Is he just so tired he needs an extra cup? Or that woman adjusting their suit, why are they so worried? Maybe they have an interview? Or a date? Or they just want to look smart? I don't know but it's fun to come up with ideas.

So many things that I see have such stories behind them. An idea I've entertained for a while is writing a story where random people in the street take over the narration and become the main character. Unfortunately I don't have the free time or the patience to work out such a complex story - but maybe one day I'll give it a go.

Funny looks

If you've ever gone out somewhere dressed in an extravagant or unusual way, you may well have experienced this for yourself. I'm talking about the times everyone seems to glance at you as you walk towards them. There is definitely a 'weirdness threshold' (as I will call it) beyond which you will find yourself the subject of a large amount of attention. Through extensive research* I have identified a number of criteria for reaching this threshold.

*Extensive research may or may not be extensive and may or may not be research.

Disclaimer: If you use my techniques I take no responsibility for any funny looks, confusion or laughter caused

1) Outward vs. inward

To seem weird enough to be noticed, the weird aspect of you must be something visible. For instance, wishing you were a purple jelly bean, though sufficiently weird, will not gain the focus of anyone around unless you actually paint yourself purple or wear a jelly bean costume. The most obvious things to the average passer-by are clothing, anything on your face and how you are moving. Wearing strange clothes, heavy/vibrant makeup or large piercings are good ways to reach the threshold. Walking with a limp or skipping will often be just as effective.

2) Range of notice

To reach the great heights of the weirdness threshold it is important that your weird aspect must be visible from far enough away for people to notice as they hurry past with their busy lives. Writing "Hello, I'm Bob" on your forehead can potentially draw attention, but not if you write it too small. 

3) Extent of weirdness

At some levels of weirdness, people will not take notice. It is possible to be fairly weird without getting more than one or two looks. Take leaning on something for instance:

As you can see, the first posture wouldn't draw attention, the second might a little bit, but the third has passed the threshold and would be noticeable to anyone nearby.

Fear

Sometimes I get scared of being around lots of people. I know that I'm different to a lot of people - there aren't many who seem to be a completely different gender at the weekends - so I'm often worried people will look at me and think: "freak". Of course, most people don't look hard enough to notice anything odd, so my fears are often misplaced. But sometimes even being in a crowd puts me on edge.

The urgency of everyone rushing past, as if anything in their way would be pushed aside or trampled over without thought. It sets my heart beating faster than my panicking footsteps, one step the wrong way and I'm suddenly in the wrong place at the wrong time. I try to keep my head down and my path straight. But it's not just crowds that scare me...

I find it hard to do many things in public. I'm not sure if that's because I'm British or because I have some kind of social anxiety. One of the things that makes me stressed is paying for things, not because I don't like spending money, but because I take so long to get my money out and put the change in my wallet. I can feel the person behind me get more and more irritated the longer it takes.

I try to avoid at all costs the complication of pubic bathrooms - whichever I use I risk being kicked out. If I'm presenting as fully female, it makes sense to go to the women's but, if someone realised I am not biologically female I could be in a lot of trouble. If I go into the men's it is likely that people will think I'm a girl and therefore I shouldn't be there. So I avoid it as much as I can.

I suppose one day I will become more confident in these situations (and many others) but for now it makes going anywhere pretty stressful.

Our world is full of expectations and eyes, social constructs that tell us how to act, interact and feel. Sometimes I wish I could ignore them more easily.